


hyacinth and gladiolus

by Zowabob



Category: Half-Life, half life but the ai is self aware
Genre: And I guess lore building, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Epic emotional moments, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Team as Family, There is comedy also
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:02:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25459765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zowabob/pseuds/Zowabob
Summary: It's not only acknowledging the pain of the past and present that makes you stronger.It's also love.Fics about living.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 44





	1. Chapter 1

In bubbys and Coomers shared kitchen ,Gordon can always tell it's lived in. 

A precious kind of love can be seen, but also obnoxious because the dishcloths have flames on them and they have themed plates that have mascots from all the places they visited.

Its morning and beautiful when he arrives, bringing take out breakfast for the both of them.  
Dr Coomer is out doing some errands or research Gordon isnt really sure which one, but he said he would come when bubby invited him for breakfast the other day.

Sometimes Gordon know when bubby has to tell him something, it isn't in the way he acts or the way he speaks, just when you know someone for a while you can just tell. Well that and Coomer told him over text last night, one that was deleted as soon as he read it. 

So really Gordon was prepared to deal with some built up feeling if he had too.

It was twenty minutes into breakfast that he got really quite and picked up his Smokey the bear plate and took it to the sink. His shoulders stiffened and he didn't turn to face Gordon.

Bubbys hands gripped the counter with white knuckles and says something Gordon couldn't catch.

"Uh I'm sorry?"

He hears a heave from the counter

"I'm not sorry I got your hand cut off"

He goes to get up from his chair, to figure out where this is coming from but before he can bubby whips around and slams his fist down, making the plants in the windowsill shake.

His shoulders are shaking.

"IM NOT SORRY GORDON, IM NOT, IM NOT! They were tracking us down with you suit, IM NOT SORRY FOR WHAT I DID"

Gordon doesn't believe bubby can see through his glasses with the amount of sobbing racking his frame.  
He understands survivors guilt, he been to many consolar sessions and done a lot of introspection. 

He knows bubby struggles with it sometimes, just like they all struggle with things, just because Tommy's the smartest person he's met doesn't mean the dude could set foot in a Walmart.

It was a horrific time, and sometimes to survive you do things you never thought you would have to do. Gordon doesn't know what he would have said a long time ago when this was fresh and his prosthetic still was new and painful.

But it's not fresh and new, it's old news, old painful news. It's old painful news that he isn't going to let his friend who would do anything to escape the tubes and the failed creations of himself bear by himself.

Gordon wraps his arms around bubby, and bubby does not fight or struggle, he falls into Gordons strong hairy fatherly arms and sobs into them.  
He rocks him gently side to side, looking out the window to see the regular sites one sees on a good day, he also see cats on the rocking bench out front.

The sobs turns into crying untill it's quite in the kitchen, and Gordon lets out a shaky breath to the ceiling and sniffles letting the tension out.

Neither of them really want to talk about what happened, but it's nice to have someone who can relate to you on a event so horrible and unimaginable. It's nice to say terrible things sometimes to a person that understands where your coming from.

Even if to a person who never experienced the things they did, just simply couldn't imagine letting bubby say that.

It's about 9 am now and he can hear the recyling truck down the street, the mailman talking to the neighbors and jepordy is playing in the living room.

His arms hang loosly around bubby while his face is just mashed into his chest, probably wiping his face on it.

With a sigh Gordon picks him up and carrys him to the living room and drops him on the couch, flopping on after.

"I'm gonna need another shirt, you got your snot all over it"

Bubby looks up at him with a sour expression as if he hates being comfortable and leaning against him, he grabs one of Coomers tees that seem to have been left on the back of the couch and hand it over.

"Don't fucking ruin it Gordon. That's his ' go get em Garfield' shirt and if I have to hear him cry about I'm burning down you blink 182 cd collection.".

This makes Gordon laugh really hard with his head thrown back as the contestants play there game in the background, and in the midmorning with two people who suffere and loved and survived.

life goes on. And it goes well.


	2. If your friends don't dance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I like Abba!

Gordon and Coomer are doing dishes at his house, Gordon is drying them and sticking them in what he believes is probably the right place.

He wants to know something but doesn't want to interrupt his older friends as he painstakingly gets cheese of a plate. Top 100 hits plays from the radio and the sky is blue.

Finally he hands over the plate to be dried and Gordon feels he can talk.

"A-are we heros?"

Coomer looks him straight in the eyes, straight faced.

"No Gordon absolutely not"

He puts the plate on the shelf and tries again.

"Are we the good guys at least?"

Dr Coomer is contemplative at that, upbeat pop music flows the kitchen and he moves his hips to it.

"I don't think good guys do what we did Gordon"

The song is Abba and if your friends don't dance well, as the song says, they ain't no friend of mine. Gordon grimaces, he doesn't think he's a bad person either, none of them are, he believes this firmly in his heart.

"If we aren't the good guys dr Coomers, what are saying then, we, I'm the bad guy? Is that it!"

Bubby comes into the kitchen with dirty plate and a fork between his teeth. He spits the fork in the sink, sets the dishes on the counter and gives his husband a kiss.

He raises his nose and crosses his arms at the curly haired man.

"No you fool, we arnt good or bad guys, were survivors."

"Good news Gordon we survived the impossible, and that doesn't have a scale!"

More plates in the sink, bubby heats the sink up with his mind, knowing that Coomer liked it hot.

"Good people don't commit murder and they also don't do experiments on people and leave them in tubes. Just like bad people don't try to save as many people as they can. Obviously Gordon"

Gordon knows this, he fucking knows this.

"Sometimes doing the right or wrong thing isn't a option, you can only do what you can, anyways! Nobody to call us out on it eh" 

Coomer says this with a wink , that makes bubby howl in laughter.

Gordon decides that maybe,maybe, well...maybe he doesn't really care. And that maybe you have to move on to live.

He laughs with them and listen on to pop beats on a clear afternoon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!


	3. Take a step. Than another

After everything thing is said and done. When the party dies down and they finish their pizza.  
They do not just leave, Gman get up and goes into the backroom to get something.

Or someone for that matter, he brings out benry, half dry from waiting so long but still pretty wet and caked in mud and guts.  
Every single second of rage is gone in a instant when Gordon sees the man he thought was stuck in a hell scape.  
if he didn't die by their hand.

They all run to him, benry is crying when he comes out but now he is sobbing, he looks so tired.

"I'm sorry for being bad! I didn't want the world to end, I had to fix it I'm good not bad!"

That's all he repeats as he sobs.and Gordon looks to the sky and thinks about life,he thinks about how much life could suck right now.  
He holds benry untill he stops,sweet voice drifting in gentle streams as he rocks the man in his arms.

Hes so tired of being angry or scared, in depths of hell they have all been and he's so so tired.

Sobs rack his body as he realizes they all made it out alive, as soon as he starts crying it must be a chain reaction because everyone in the Chucky Cheese enteretainment center is crying.

You either lay down and die or say fuck that.

He shackily raises his fist

"We will not go quietly into the nights"

He can't finsih the independence day quote,thought the tears.

Tears of joy  
Sadness   
Relief and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, found family you have to love it


	4. Determination to live

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After a art and writing break I am back! I had pretty bad art block and art school is starting soon but since it's all home learning, well I think it won't effect my writing to bad.
> 
> I have to say it has been a joy writing for this fandom and I am excited to do more! I can believe how much I have written and how this fandom has given me dear friends but also tons of inspiration!

It is was twelve on a Wednesday and Gordon is making lunch when he see benry standing there with his big glassy eyes staring at him.

He knows benry has been planning to say something important for the last few days and is slowly getting the rest of his thoughts together.

He talked to tommy about it and knows just to let him get ready, even though he has barely said a word in days. 

When Tommy comes in carrying joshie and a large binder with loose papers sticking out, Gordon is glad that lunch is ready. He made homemade pizza and everyone digs in.

\-----

It's really hard to watch someone struggle so hard to say something, but Tommy is sitting with him on the couch, cuddled together watching a movie Gordon has seen before but can't ever remember the name.

But it has mice in it and it's happy so he's fine with it. Benry comes in from the kitchen and stands in front of the TV. It's hard to be intimidated by someone he can carry, but the wet thousand yard stare reminds him of the people in the movie 'dunkirk'.

This isn't a bad thing, if Gordon didn't know better he would be concerned but in this moment he knows he should be.

Benry grips the chewed on flaps of his hat.

"Im-im I died"

"B-benry your s-s-shaking"

He gets loud and fat tears roll down his face.

"I die many times and I remebeeeer every one! I die and you let me die and I had to die or everyone would die. I had to be the bad guy so that I could be the good guy. 

And and I can't die anymore ever again I only have one more"

Tommy guides him to the couch and into his arms rocking him slowly as he balls his eyes out loudly.

Gordons thanks whos ever out there that Joshua is at his mother right now. His eyes tear up to as he listens to benry talk.

The world's ok now, but he knows that there's some things that heal very slowly.

He didn't know that each death was that painful.

"I-I had to die, Stein's gate bananas Tommy had to be right you know what happen you do!"

Tommy has tears rolling down his face as he nods, Sunkist with both of them. He holds them both as they all work through this.

He knows what benry means, that he was used to make sure they stayed on a correct timeline that didn't end in the Apocalypse. That he always tried to communicate that he was not going to hurt him when he was a skeleton.

Sometimes, you can look back on horrible things and find funny moments in them. Something comes to Tommy's mind then.

Sweet voice that was blue to plaid was floating in the air that meant "I'm so so sad"

"B-b-benry everyone o-only has one life, mooost p-people can't die as many times as you d-did, yyou really lucky!"

Benry raised his head from Tommy's shoulder that was covered in snot and tears.

"Special deal on coming back to life?"

That made Gordon laugh 

"Fifty for one deal Gordon?"

He grabbed the tissues and started wiping benrys face, giving both of them tissues to blow their noses.

In the air floated more peaceful colors of the sweet mesa.

He patted the man's tummy as tommy moved him and took off his now gross sweater. The things you put with for love, tommy thought in regards to his icky sweater that he let fall on the ground.

"Do you feel better now buddy?"

"Mmm yesno"

"Would this John wick dvd turn that into a yes?"

He spread his body across the couch using both of them as pillows. Tommy giving his nose a kiss making the pale man blush.

He decided to be difficult.

"I don't know that guy, he isn't a wick"

Ooookay I will just put it back in-"

"No! Watch now. Now!!"

Gordon was glad the mood had changed, he was glad they talked that out. He knew how hard it was for benry to communicate things.

He figured it was going to be a John wick marathon night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I love knowing you love my work so much! Please read the manga 'Real' by the person who made slam dunk. It's my all time fav sports manga


	5. Bet he wasn't expecting this info on pancake Wednesday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a piece of vital information Gordons missing. And maybe it's the funniest piece

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I love writing and I hope you enjoy!!!

He simply just couldn't figure it out.  
Gordon had seen a lot of things in his life but this, this he wasn't sure about.

The thing is Coomer and bubby sometimes act odd to tommy, in a way if Gordon thinks really hard about it almost seems... 

Parental.

And Gordon wasn't sure if they where like demeaning him or what. He certainly didn't think so, because they sort of acted like that to anyone younger than them.

Hell he saw Harold pinch a NASA scientists cheeks, when they presented their research. Well not only that but then they tripped the poor guy in the hotel pool. 

Gordon felt that if your willing to talk to a known pool pusher while holding you mildly important research,well that's on you.

And it wasn't just his anxiety, it wasn't! 

It was just things like, the fact that a few days ago bubby got that,,look on his face. Like he was about to be annoying on purpose. 

He pulled out some photos and was showing them to benry who apperantly thought the photos where really really funny (they where)

He was cackling the more he looked at them and when Gordon saw them. 

Well they were photos of tommy when he was a baby and had a bowl of salad on his head, one where it appeared that Gman was telepathically feeding the kid peas.

Tommy walked in with a cup of tea and bubby immediately pointed and started yelling, excitedly.   
Coomer ran down the stairs when he heard and they both in unison started chanting.

"Pea boy! It's the little veggie man eating his peas as fast as he can!"

Tommy retaliated saying he was 37 and didn't need this humiliation in front of his boyfriends. And that he ate his peas as fast as any other man.

Harold raised his eyebrows really far.

"Good news bubby! Salad head eats peas as fast as anyone in the world"

"F-fuck y-you your salded headed"

"He has you there"

"Hmmm yes I suppose he does"

It was events like these that made Gordon lay awake at night, benry surprisingly was like a furnace. One would expect him to be cold or clammy but Gordon never needed many blankets when it came to him.

He decided he would ask Tommy tomorrow morning. The last thing he wanted was for Tommy to feel demeaned or disrespected.

When they where all sat down at the table, eating the pancakes Gordon made, he felt confident enough to ask.

"Tommy I um, I have a question. Whhhhy do Coomer and bubby carry photos of you around with them? And why do they um, always act like your parents?"

The table was quite and he watched as tommy and benry shared a look.

"G-g-gordoon you don't k-know?"

"Hah! What the heck"

Benry says this like Gordon just asked what forks where. There was a obvious answer.

Gordon simply just couldn't figure it out.

Tommy put down his fork and his whole face was scrunched up like he had heard something genuinely hilarious and absolutely stupid.

"G-g-gordoon their m-my s-tep parents"

He blinked once.

He blinked twice.

"What, huh?"

"H-how did you n-not know this Gordon?"

Every single second of evidence flashed through his mind.

"You mean- your father??"

"He c-calls them h-his associates"

Tommy says this while looking romantic and goofy. Benry has a stupid open mouth grin on his face thats pointed at Gordon.

His... associates. 

If Gordon didn't know what he knew now he would have just started screaming. But it, well it did kind of make sense.

"Gordon do you think I just hang out with strange old men?"

"Yes?? I've been working on that assumption?"

"T-thats r-really f-f-fucking funny"

Well Gordon thought that does make sense.

He put his head on the table. This information was all so much for pancake Wednesday.

He could feel benrys face pressed against his curly hair, giggling.

"World 15 Gord 0"

Gordon let out a long sigh.

Wherever he thought at least I have pancakes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! You can leave comments if you want :)  
> If you want you can watch my animatic
> 
> https://youtu.be/5Fo1CfiDi-g

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Sending best wishes your way.
> 
> Check this video I made out for scorpys video making showcase  
> https://youtu.be/j5FK1WF86Vo


End file.
